Elisabeth Joy LaMotte, Psychotherapist; Author, ‘Overcoming Your Parents' Divorce: 5 Steps to a Happy Relationship’ and contibutor to The Huffington Post, suggests a volunteer vacation may help your relationship:

As a couples therapist, I hear a lot about the challenge of finding quality time and the importance of vacations. Many couples are balancing two demanding careers not to mention kids, chores and family demands. It is no wonder that when couples do finally plan some romantic time away, many opt to lie on a beach somewhere — preferably a location accessible through a direct flight — and chill. Many couples and families are getting ready to do just that for the last few days of summer. For sure, unstructured beach time is a wonderful way to de-stress, reconnect and recharge.

However, in terms of building intimacy through shared experiences, lounging on a beach is not necessarily the answer. Through my work with many couples, I notice that planning a brief vacation doing something more meaningful (and less vegetative) can do a lot to enhance a relationship. As a client recently described:

My wife and I plan such luxurious trips to treat ourselves since our work is so demanding. But the volunteer trip we took with our church did more for our marriage than any five-star restaurant or high-end resort. We were helping others together and it was such a welcome change of pace from the rhythm of our daily routine. Sharing a joint purpose and taking the focus off of daily life brought us back to what it was like when we first met.

Whether vacationing as a couple or as a family, there are many options through which your vacation time can be used to make a genuine difference.

GlobeAware, Habitat for Humanity and American Red Cross are a few of the wonderful organizations to consider. Many places of worship also arrange trips to volunteer. Or , since it is election season, consider volunteering on a political campaign.

Pick a candidate you both truly believe in. Spending a weekend with your partner canvassing for a candidate you respect can help make a difference and help your relationship. (Plus, canvassing is good exercise!) No, it is not necessarily relaxing, so take your relaxing holiday this weekend and plan something more meaningful for a weekend (or week) in the fall.

It is not uncommon to feel hesitant about taking a trip to volunteer. The experience will obviously entail breaking out of your routine and going beyond your daily comfort zone. However, try to push through that hesitation and tell yourself that you and your relationship will grow from the experience!

Seventeen-year-old Madison Leatherwood took a two-week working vacation in the rainforest of Costa Rica with Globe Aware. She relates her remarkable adventure with the  Morris Daily Herald of Morris, Illinois:

MINOOKA ' When some people go on vacation, they think of relaxation ' but not 17-year-old Madison Leatherwood of Channahon, a senior at Minooka Community High School.

This summer, Leatherwood took a two-week working vacation in the rainforest of Costa Rica. She could have opted for working with turtles on the beach in Guatemala or a surfing vacation.

Instead she chose a remote village, high up in the mountains, with only 60 residents scattered around a tiny "town" called El Sur.

The residents of El Sur originally lived deeper in the rainforest, but were forced to relocate as part of a movement to preserve the land.

"A lot of people left (the community) because they didn' t want to re-establish their lives," Leatherwood said. "They are very poor."

As they try to rebuild in a different area, residents are aided by volunteers through an organization called Globe Aware.

Leatherwood used the opportunity to work with Globe Aware so that she could travel. In this way, she can satisfy her travel bug and help people around the world at the same time.

"I really wanted to experience a different culture and felt like this was the best option for me," she said.

There is only one phone, a pay phone, in El Sur. Just five years ago, they got flush toilets; seven of them serve the community. They have electricity, even some TVs, but the power goes off and on.

The town has a church, a store that doubles as a tavern with an adjacent make-shift pool hall, a one-room school and a town hall building used for community dinners and meetings. The library inside the town hall is a single shelf lined with books.

Leatherwood stayed the first week in a large (by El Sur standards), one-bedroom cabin built for Globe Aware volunteers, along with a small group from three different states. The bathroom and shower, sans hot water, were underneath the raised living area.

The other volunteers went home during Leatherwood' s second week, so she stayed in the home of Gilda, a resident and representative for Globe Aware. Because she is underage, Gilda and Leatherwood' s guide Mario worried for her safety.

Gilda' s home was much smaller and more run down than the volunteer cabin. An opening between the walls and roof allowed air to circulate, but it also made it easy for critters to get inside. A huge spider didn' t faze Gilda as she swatted it off Leatherwood' s bed, saying it was nothing.

Two of the nights she was visited by a vampire bat while she was in bed. She had to keep shining a flashlight on it to startle it away.

"I didn' t sleep much," she said.

The work Leatherwood did to aid the people of El Sur was varied. She milk cows and learned to make cheese from it. She worked at the town sugar mill, helping to prod along the oxen as they walked in a circle, turning gears that ran rollers to pulverize the sugar cane.

Some days she worked directly with the cane, straining it as it liquefied or stirring it as it turned to a consistency of syrup.

She dug shallow drainage ditches alongside the roads and helped construct small wood boxes that were used as frames and filled with cement. The cement squares were then embedded with water pipes to use in homes, protecting the pipes from swelling and bursting.

"I tried pretty much all the jobs," Leatherwood said.

Every bit of supplies were used and re-used, she said.

"We took all the nails out of the wood, scraped the cement off and reused it," Leatherwood said. "We also reused all the nails. That' s how limited they are."

Leatherwood learned an entirely different way of life in El Sur. She awoke at 5 a.m. to get her work done before the rains set in around noon. During the down time, residents did a lot of relaxing, she said.

By late afternoon, the sun came back out and it was time for dinner and a little fun, like a community soccer game most nights.

Leatherwood often went horseback riding when she had free time. One day her group followed a stream through the rainforest to a waterfall. They jumped into the lake below and swam.

The locals chose a specific horse for Leatherwood to ride ' white with black spots.

"They said it was like me because it had freckles," she said.

The best part of her adventure was the many people she met and came to care about. Like her guide Mario, who did much of the construction around town; and Robert, the town carpenter who built amazing pieces of furniture with not much more than an electric saw and a few hand tools.

Gilda taught her to make cheese, peel cocoa beans for hot chocolate and strain fruit from the rainforest into delicious juices.

"Everyone was so nice. I met friends I would like to go back and see again," she said. "(But) there' s also places like Australia. Someday I want to go to Ireland or New Zealand. I want to see how different it is from here, in as many places I can afford to go."

The experts Your travel queries answered *Volunteer Vacations
“I have heard of volunteer vacations and am thinking of undertaking one this winter. Where would you suggest I go, and how should I plan the trip?”
STEVEN ROSE Founder and executive director Cross Cultural Solutions	ARJUN SHARMA Managing director. Le Passage to India Select Group	KIMBERLY HALEY COLEMAN Executive directo, Globe Aware
Meaningful volunteering can be as simple as sharing love and affection with orphans. or practicing conversational English w1th adults seeking new career opportunities. We at Cross-Cultural Solutions (www. crossculturalsolutions.org) have sent over 26,000 volunteers to 12 countries since 1995. including our founding programme in India. Volunteers in Dharamsala. for example,have assisted teachers in special education. In Peru. volunteers have cared for people with disabilities. When planning, consider the region you want to explore, the type of work that interests you. and the time you can allocate.I recommend selecting an organisation that provides positive impact within the communities served.	Volunteer tourism is a great form of travel that allows you to make a difference while on holiday. When choosing a destination. your prime consideration should be the kind of volunteer work you will be comfortable with-whether it’s environmental conservation.teaching or animal welfare. Also choose a project based on the time you can commit to it you can choose to volunteer from two weeks to two months. Your options are varied. from teaching in Cambodia and volunteering at an orphanage in Goa to working With elephants in Kerala and raising lions in South Africa. Book through a reliable tour company. as travelling independently can be challenging and finding the right project difficult.	The good news is that the destinations are virtually limitless. The bad news is that there are so many companies conducting volunteer tours that it’s difficult to choose one over the other. Most companies offer programmes from one to 52 weeks. With genuine need virtually everywhere narrow your options down by selecting a place to which you have never been or to which you have an attachment. In Jaipur for example, Globe Aware (www. globeaware.org) volunteers can help children in extreme poverty with basic needs. (Other safe destinations with urgent need include Thailand. Laos and Peru). Once you’ve compiled a list review itineraries of agencies that offer such trips and contact former volunteers who have gone on their programmes for feedback before you make a decision. Reputable companies will gladly give out references. Many organised tours include the cost of food, accommodation, local transport, insurance, orientation material and a guide. Finally, know where your money is going: read up on how the organisation you pick spends its funds. Habitat for Humanity and Doctors Without Borders are two good options.
		GOT A TRAVEL QUERY? Email us at askCNT@condenast.in and our panel of experts will answer it. For more, www.cntraveller.in

Self

Dallas, TX (May 8, 2012) Volunteers Beth Karbe, Krystal Nix, Carol Barron, and Judy Keathley traveled with Globe Aware, a nonprofit organization that coordinates 17 unique volunteer programs in 15 countries worldwide, to San Pedro de Casta, Peru. While there, the group of volunteers began work on a badly needed irrigation system for community use. They now plan to return in order to offer the village a professionally executed solution to their water crisis.

Water is hard to come by in this secluded village high in the Andes Mountains of Peru. While it is only 50 miles from the Peruvian capitol of Lima, the journey usually takes over 5 hours due to the rocky terrain and single lane road. Globe Aware specializes in short term voluntourism, trips usually one week in duration. In that week all four women fell in love with the spirited people of San Pedro de Casta, especially the children. The ladies worked closely with the school and quickly realized the detrimental effect the lack of water has had on the village.

Kimberly Haley Coleman, Founder and Executive Director of Globe Aware comments on the impact a volunteer can make in one week, "we think of this more as like lighting a lamp. If a volunteer has an experience of helping someone side-by-side as part of a community you’ve lit that lamp of wanting to give back and wanting to volunteer and serving and knowing that joy." Haley Coleman continues, "Volunteer Vacations are an ideal way to both encourage service while offering the benefit of international travel to small communities in the developing world. This experience exposes individuals to the beauties and challenges faced by others and also serves as a culturally immersive exercise"

Upon return to Florida: Beth, Krystal, Carol, and Judy decided to continue their work for the 999 residents of San Pedro de Casta. They organized and held the "Bring Water to San Pedro" fundraiser in Gainesville, Fl where over $20,000 was raised to fund an engineering team to excavate and build a proper irrigation system for the people of San Pedro de Casta.

The trip made an immeasurable impact on Beth Karbe' s view as well as the impetus to reevaluate her goals in San Pedro de Casta:

"This is a crucial need in San Pedro, since water is very scarce. The irrigation trench was essential, but despite spending hours digging every day and working very hard, we honestly didn' t get very far. The ground was bone dry and full of rock, and the 3 foot deep trench needs to run eight tenths of a mile! The new plan would not involve hand digging, nor dependence on infrequent volunteers, but construction by an engineering company with real machinery and big boy prowess.  I am committed, I will go back.  I will stay on this.  And honestly I won’t rest until it’s done. This has been quite literally my life’s purpose for 9 months and it will continue to be until the water flows."

Work for this new irrigation system is planned for Summer 2012. If you would like to contribute to the Bring Water to San Pedro cause please visit :  https://www.facebook.com/BringWater/app_101393123286933

About Globe Aware (R) 

Globe Aware(R) is a 501 (c) 3 nonprofit charity that mobilizes short term volunteer programs around the world. These adventures in service focus on promoting cultural awareness and sustainability and are often compared to a mini “peace corps” experience. All volunteers are accompanied by a bilingual volunteer coordinator to assist the volunteer throughout their program. The program fee and the airfare to get there are fully tax deductible to the full extent of the law. Globe Aware is a member of International Volunteer Programs Association, Volunteers for Prosperity, the Building Bridges Coalition, was recommended for United Nations Consultative Status for Social and Economic Council, and administers the President’s Volunteer Service Awards. Additionally, Globe Aware offsets its carbon emissions with Carbonfund.org, the country’s leading carbon offset organization. Our carbon footprint is estimated at less than 70 tons annually, and we have chosen to support carbon-reducing projects in renewable energy to offset the CO2 that is produced in running our offices worldwide, from powering our offices to the transportation used to get to and from our work sites. This commitment places Globe Aware as an environmental leader in the volunteer abroad community and demonstrates proactive steps being taken in the fight against global climate change.  

If you would like more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview with Globe Aware' s founder and Executive Director, Kimberly Haley-Coleman, please call Vaughn Hancock at 214-824-4562 or e-mail Vaughn@globeaware.com

Self

Volunteer Vacations Can Change Your Life

. . . and Maybe a Little Part of the World as Well

By Dianne Brause

When we think of an ideal vacation trip many of us imagine white, sandy beaches with exotic drinks and delicious meals and fine entertainment. The place should be filled with beautiful and smiling women (or deeply tanned beach boys) in skimpy bathing suits. And of course it should be an amazing bargain so that we can tell our friends about how much we got for “next to nothing!”

I have been both participant and guide on several trips of this type over the years.

I have also participated in and led a number of very different kinds of trips in which the goal was not only to enjoy but also to give back to our hosts and their community in ways that were beneficial to both parties, trips that give host and visitor the opportunity to connect with one another in immediate and genuine ways.

My volunteer vacations have generally been less luxurious and more strenuous than the storybook kind. Yet working with other travelers and community members on a worthwhile project has been significantly more rewarding than a typical tour. Many people’s lives have changed (I’m one of them!) as a result of the contacts made and understanding gained during these short sojourns in someone else’s territory.

The volunteer component of a volunteer vacation might involve helping to build a clinic for cane cutters in the Dominican Republic or repairing a trail in the national park in Costa Rica or teaching African teenagers about the dangers of AIDS or protecting sea turtles from extinction or excavating the site of an ancient civilization with a global team of volunteers.

DIANNE G. BRAUSE has been writing about responsible travel since her first trip to the Middle East in 1964. She has been a Peace Corps volunteer in the Dominican Republic, a college teacher, a public health educator, the founder of an intentional community, and a trainer of tour guides. She has also set up responsible travel programs in several countries. This winter is co-leading a Lisle, Inc. trip to India. Contact her at diannebr@lostvalley.org . This article has been reprinted from Transitions Abroad Magazine.

Now here' s a unique twist on a family holiday. Writer Wendy Donahue in the Chicago Tribune suggests integrating and incorporating annual traditions into a truly memorable and possibly life-changing event:

Happy faux-lidays

Extended families create their own reason to celebrate each other

By Wendy Donahue, Tribune Newspapers

3:13 PM CST, March 6, 2012

Every year, Marie Puskas and her extended family put all of their eggs in one basket ' along with their Valentines, New Year’s noisemakers, Christmas gifts, Thanksgiving fixings and Halloween treats.

Naturally, they call this annual family gathering “New Valeastweengivingmas,” a contraction of several holidays, and it is celebrated in July or August at her parents’ house in Daytona Beach, Fla.

“We count down to midnight, give valentines in Easter eggs, dress up in Halloween costumes, have a Thanksgiving dinner and have a secret Santa/white elephant gift exchange,” said Puskas, who lives in Tampa.

Just over a dozen family members, along with some family friends, travel from across Florida for this off-peak holiday rush, which dates to 2003.

“We weren’t sure if we’d all be able to get together once we all had families,” Puskas said, “so this is one tradition we make sure stays intact.”

Modern family life has birthed a brood of custom holidays, often to preserve closeness while easing logistical and financial pressures on extended, blended and interfaith families separated by miles. Sometimes they honor sacred milestones (the date of a child’s adoption, often called “gotcha day”). Sometimes, they’re whimsical (the date a boat goes in the water after winter, christened “Cold Duck Day” by one family because the “really cheap” wine was all they had aboard to toast the launch the first year).

A venerable holiday twist for extended families involves shifting the celebration of Christmas to a few weeks before or a few days after Dec. 25 ' which one family christened “Mockmas” ' in part so that individual families can wake up on Christmas Day in their own homes. On the opposite end of the calendar is the old-fashioned family reunion in summertime when kids don’t have school and travel conditions are more hospitable.

Even somber events can spin off annual celebrations. The family of Melissa Byers of Myrtle Beach, S.C., marks the date of her father’s death.

“I know that sounds weird, but we go to his favorite restaurant, make his favorite dessert, etc.,” Byers said. “We’re on year three in March and the first two were festive, not sad. No balloons or anything, but time that we deliberately remember and enjoy the things he did. It’s nice.”

Birth of a complicated schedule

But, as Puskas said, it’s the birth of babies that most universally redefines holidays for families.

“It’s a time of complete reinvention in some ways,” said Linda Murray, editor in chief of babycenter.com. Its recent poll found that 23 percent of respondents stayed closer to home after having a baby, with 44 percent describing the traditional holiday season in their home as “a reasonably low-key event with just a few gatherings and a handful of relatives. Fourteen percent described theirs as a “quiet event at home with just our immediate family.”

Many new parents report that they initially travel more than they did before, introducing the baby to relatives. Once a child turns 2, constantly on the go and requiring a separate plane ticket, air travel declines, Murray said. Then the school years start, with new financial demands, hectic schedules and limited breaks.

But Murray cited a surprise in the babycenter.com poll: 92 percent of parents will pull their children out of school to travel with them “and not feel guilty about it.”

She speculates that might be feeding alternative-holiday momentum.

It’s a big world out there

“Parents tell us they have a real belief in life experience,” Murray said. “The opportunity to see another place or learn something new or bond together as a family, they really value those things on par with traditional education.”

That’s why some families have turned volunteerism vacations into annual holidays.

Through the Globe Aware (globeaware.org) organization, Mark Edwards and his family have assembled desks for a school in Ghana, painted a school in Laos and built stoves in Peru. That was their first trip when their youngest of three daughters was 9 and their unheated hostel meant sleeping in all of their clothes to stay warm.

“But our kids never complained,” said Edwards, who lives in Boston. “They loved it, we loved it, and we were hooked.”

Globe Aware, which is one of the partners on GoVoluntouring.com, reports that about 40 percent of families turn its trips into an annual rite, though families make up only 15 to 25 percent of its volunteers.

“We’ve seen many multigenerational families ' kids, together with their parents and grandparents ' all traveling with one another as a bonding experience in a truly unique and wonderful environment,” said Kimberly Haley-Coleman, executive director of Globe Aware.

Friendship matters

Other faux-lidays aren’t just centered on the traditional definition of family. Some surround friendship.

“Two of my good friends have birthdays three days apart from each other,” said Jenny Des Jarlais, who lives in northern California. “They’re the same age for just those three days out of the year. They consider it a three-day period of celebration.”

Celebrations of half-birthdays have become commonplace for kids whose birthdays are lost in the December or summer shuffle, as with Murray’s daughter, who was born on New Year’s Eve. Murray points out a related post on babycenter.com:

“My sister’s and my birthdays fell at inconvenient times (hers is Dec. 21, mine Jan. 4), so rather than let them get overlooked or run together with Christmas, my family would throw us a joint ‘unbirthday party’ some time when everybody could come. And we’d usually watch ‘Alice in Wonderland,’ where the Mad Hatter explains that everybody gets 364 unbirthdays a year.”

A new holiday dawning

Thinking about proposing a new holiday for your extended family? For 64 years, relatives of Jessica Hebenstreit have gathered for the Benz Family Reunion at Rathbun Lake in Iowa. Here are five ways they started and sustained the tradition.

Agree on a day that remains clear year after year, such as “the second Sunday of July.” Once there’s reasonable consensus, stick to it to avoid confusion.

Make the official celebration a single-day event, then individual families can tailor their trip to their liking. Hebenstreit’s relatives start trickling in as much as a week in advance.

Pick a destination with some affordable recreational options. They don’t have to be highfalutin. “People go boating on the lake, spend time in town; generally, the adults find their way to the local pool hall,” Hebenstreit says.

Schedule some events, but not too many. A little bit of “corny” is OK too ' it’s family. “On Saturday we have a weenie roast at the campgrounds,” Hebenstreit says. “Sunday entails a potluck, a family report given by a member of each of the families on the past year, prayer, singing of songs, games for the children.”

Tend to business for the next year while everyone is there. On Sunday, Hebenstreit says her family passes a hat to raise money to reserve the shelters for the next year as well as to make a donation to the cemetery where their forebears, Charles and Anna Benz, are buried. They also elect a president and vice president who are responsible for booking the shelters and ensuring the reunion takes place the next year.

People may think that being famous means only five-star hotels, private jets, and personal chefs. Looking to lend a helping hand, many switch these out for mud huts, bamboo rafts, and a good Sherpa. Which celebrities can be found on location getting their hands dirty? From animal conservation to work with the poverty stricken, there might not be a red carpet at these volunteer events, but the rewards are just as great. 

Star quality isn' t just reserved for the rich and famous. GoVoluntouring helps travelers of all kinds connect with their ideal volunteer vacation in locations across the world, including those that the celebs hold dear to their hearts:

Angelina Jolie fights poverty in Cambodia

This Oscar-winning actress who often graces the "most beautiful woman" list can be found in Cambodia. Whilst filming Tomb Raider, Jolie was touched by the plight of the poor and impoverished. See for yourself the source of Jolie' s inspiration with Globe Aware' s Cambodia Rediscovered program. Even though the tourism trade is blossoming in Cambodia, a large percentage of people still live in poverty. With a street-child problem and an underfunded education and medical system, volunteers will be working on a variety of projects. However, they will still have time however to visit the ancient temples that feature in Jolie' s Tomb Raider movies.

Natalie Portman loves them big and hairy

From black swans to mountain gorillas, Natalie Portman trekked into the rainforests of Rwanda to raise awareness of these beautiful giants. Gorillas share 98% of their genetic make-up with humans and volunteers can get involved with their plight by joining the Peaks Foundation. The organization runs a one-week trip where volunteers climb Rwanda' s highest peak, Nyiragongo (an active volcano), in support of the conservation efforts at Virunga National Park.

Elton John turns tragedy to triumph

St. Lucia is where celebrities are usually snapped lounging on the beach or private yacht, however this is one of the places where volunteers are needed to help educate the local people about HIV and AIDS. Elton John has seen many of his friend' s succumb to this disease and has channeled his grief into fund raising efforts, providing money for research and vital services to those in need. Join African Impact in the impressive setting of the Greater St. Lucia Wetland Park, a UNESCO world heritage site, as they help the local orphans and raise awareness of HIV and AIDS.

Jennifer Lopez helps women around the world

After learning that 350 young women have been killed in areas of Mexico since 1993, causes for women took precedence with this Latino songstress. These issues are certainly not unique to Mexico; volunteers with Kaya Responsible Travel will be improving the future of abused women in the Philippines. This project is about empowering women through encouraging social engagement and teaching them about their rights.

GoVoluntouring is an online community for volunteers, overseas teachers, and learners' abroad that allow users to perform detailed searches from a huge database of projects and programs. With thousands of programs to choose from, GoVoluntouring offers pre-checked charities and non-profits the chance to connect with the volunteers they desperately need, with no added cost to the user or the volunteer organization.  For more information visit www.govoluntouring.com.
 

Happy Birthday to the Peace Corps, Student Volunteers from New York Institute of Technology (NYIT) in Ghana, A profile of Globe Aware, and a short doc on New Orleans.